My wife forgot her coffee this morning. She was in a rush, and I watched her leave out the front door all flustered. I noticed her travel mug, sitting there on the coffee table, brimming with delicious coffee goodness all ready to go. And for a second there, I thought about chasing after her to deliver the goods that she will need to survive her day.
But I am a sinner. I covet my neighbors coffee.
Our coffee pot makes a meager 8 cups, which is enough for 3 servings. We usually split the pot, with one person getting that all important extra cupful switching off every couple of days. I had already had my first mug by that time, and I was getting ready to fill my travel mug with the remainder of the pot. An especially tasty brew of Starbucks. I filled my mug, and was ready to head out the door with the enjoyable thought of that second cup.
Then I saw the coffee table. Evil thoughts filled my head only for an instant, and that was all it took.
I raced back into the kitchen, emptied the black blood from my daily thermos into the mega travel mug (reserved and fought over for special occasions), and proceeded to pry the cap off of her mug as well. A light and creamy caramel colored brew caught me off guard, as I recognized the vile defilement that my wife calls coffee. Probably a blend of milk/creamer, Splenda™, and other flavored sugars. But it was too late, and my mind was already made up. With her strange concoction and my straight up, it shouldn't be that bad.
The bus ride to work was tragic, because it was then that I realized I will never be able to drink the blend my wife enjoys. 2/3 of a pot ruined because of my zealousness for caffeine. I tried to choke down as much as I could, but there was no chance of any more than a few swallows. I poured the sludge out as I walked to work from the bus stop, probably killing every bit of grass and plant that it touched, almost 2 blocks worth of planters.
I am so sorry, my friend.
Fail.
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